Monday, May 11, 2009

he definately beats me

…I’m cursing my employers in all the languages I know and calling friends and relatives to aid me with more curses in more languages…and then I find something that makes me laugh out loud…
I open a folder on my PC with some of my work and in it I see a document saved as ‘suckers’. Suckers? Suckers? Cant remember when I might have had to write about suckers so I open it and … it’s a list of many assignements I had some time that were killing me! I instantly forgive myself for the coarse language and get on with renewing this list….makes me feel better. That I call the shitload a bad name.


I always thought I was ba(r)d. The ba(r)dest in fact. I mean;
-I first got kissed when I was too young to make out why my older cousin liked to smoother my mouth and lick my face so vigorously while crushing my teeth trying to force his tongue through...eh, it was gross. He didn’t have to tell me it was our big secret though. i knew. i just knew.

-then my first love letter came in in my Primary Five (also around the time I had my first boyfriend-a secondary school student) from a senior one chap in which one of the lines read “…I’m therefore writing to say that I want to have sex with you.” Yah, I admit I wasn’t that sharp about that one either as I howled so hard our housegirl had a field day marveling at the ignorance of town girls. With this experience came the beginning of what would be the only sex education i was to ever recieve; a tirade of tales about sex behind and inside pigsties, cow shades, forests,…name it. From the same housegirl.

-then the first time I got kissed and I knew what was happening I was still so stupid I rubbed my lips so hard whenever someone at home looked my way that one of the older male relatives in the house finally, with an impish grin, whispered to me ‘see SB if you keep on rubbing your lips like that everyone will know u got kissed today.’ OMG, who had told him? How had he known…u can imagine what else went thru my head as I decided I didn’t want supper, heading straight to my room just in case the lioness herself, my mum, also looked at me and knew.

Okay my point is I always thought I had been there done it (yah right, huh!) way before most. But recently I met a guy whose fact file was as follows;

-At four- got his first blow job from a 13 year old. Girl. A few days after that dude was going down on chics too
-At 9- He was worrying he might have contracted The STD. you know those times you have thought this is it, i surely have the virus? well, dude first went through that at 9, after learning about it from a sick family friend and realizing it was an STD. who worries about STDs at 9 years of age?
-At 10- whe his teacher said 'pregnancy comes from having sex with a girl,' dude knew he was done for; hell he had done it more than he cared to count by then!
Beat that. Anyone.

28 comments:

normzo said...

sock...iiiiissssss...

normzo said...

Noo, will not help you in cursing your employers.

Yo buddy had his first BJ at 4..damn... isnt he wasted today??? must be.

I got mine at...$$..DAmn ..never...HMmm.

and he was already going down on chiks by that age.

Not yet for me....

he beats u coz, u wher being violated...and him at 4 must have been enjoying his stuff...

SilverBow said...

@normzo: hey, u sleep here? nice to know i wasnt alone. my friend, he says he is off, been of getting some for years to make up for those years he had it that he shdnt have.
but now u, arent u late for everything?shd hook u up with my friend...

SilverBow said...

*been off* getting some...
oh and congs on the socks.i only seem to get laces at yours!

Robyn said...

SAY
i KNOW YOUR BUDDY

normzo said...

I need your socks...better sleep around to...hahahaha

kati yes...i am looking for a teacher!!...

yo friend is having a breather...wont he rust???...and you??? wats up?

Erique said...

You lie.

R u guys flirting?

Erique said...

...u and nomi?

SilverBow said...

robyn: hell no, u dont!
erique: the comments arent part of the post so dont dwell on those.
normzo;me, i can teach u...

and yes, i realise it is hard to believe but i kno this guy and kno he dont lie. abt my part of the story, why would i?

jny23 said...

But S.B these tales of yours.
But ive also seen yu rub yo lips before; had yu just been kissed.

Now that friend of yours is surely in a world of his own. 3 years aint a big difference though.

Otherwise how have yu been and yayx?

SilverBow said...

gwe jny, i'm not talking to u until u post. silence

Sleek said...

oba that guy n i shd meet and trade stories...

Oyin said...

hmmm. you have a kissing cousin....lol

ok, came here from Emi's page, how are you?

SilverBow said...

oyin: dont we all. he just got married about a month ago. oh, and welcome.i'm headed over to yours right away

as for you sleek, who said this guy gave lessons...

kale u guys are envious of this guy!

Oyin said...

ok ok...Ill look for him. But where is he from, and how do I find him....lol

Oyin said...

I am officially following this lovely written blog....muah

apr9 said...

Just wonder SB do u ever talk about it with ur cousin.........?

Ur buddy.........needs to retire altogether.

Had my first kinda kiss in S.4.....

SilverBow said...

hahahaha...My God Apr9...s.4?!tell me where u grew up so i can keep my own chn there. i swear.

that cousin we kinda split ways and since he was older than me it was easy.i dont think we would ever discuss it even if we had the opportunity anyway.

my buddy is honeslty as good as retired. and damn he is so cute, its such a waste.but he's definately not missing out on anything...
how are u?

Oyin said...

hey silver you didnt answer me...dont tease!!

apr9 said...

LOL SB....it has nothing to do with where i grew up. Am naturally shy..........and i was terrified of boys.

Not anymore though now they're scared of me.

Am good.

lulu said...

eeeehhhhhhh

Carsozy said...

Silver, you and your sex tales I wonder how much is true, but you girl, head at 4 yrs, can't nobody beat that. dude is tight.

nevender said...

This won't help at all.

Be silent said...

Let us see what was i up to at 4 aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh Nothing atleast not licking the lollies

Sleek said...

the roaches are tired and the mice moved to cheri's for permanent residence;they'd heard their buddies tell tales of a place free of disturbance...post something

Safyre said...

That's quite a track record... but not good enough!!

SilvaBow said...

hahahahaha...very funny sleek.
huh Safyre- wats yo story my friend?
nevender did i forget to say this post was censored? well, it was.
robyn; and i thought u wd be my attachment to innocence.

lulu; gal, eh eh

carsozy:i must have mentioned somehwere that i dotn have enough stamina to lie, in one of those earlier posts.

Ugandan girl said...

considering i think few pple are going to come back and read this...here is my tracj record.

From age 7-9: I was afraid i was pregant.
At 12: my first kiss by a dude who was i presume 19/20 he was in s.6 vac.
At 14/15:some 20something campus dude "TRIED" to have sex with me
At 20: Well that no i havent gone past it yet...well tell you next time
lol...its not funny...

(Gosh this is theraputic.)