t this very moment, i have to do everything i can to control the nervous shivers in my stomach; my appraisal form, from which it will be determined whether i'm worth my employers pay as permament staff, is at the boss'. so boss looks at it and there is a continuous twitch from his tightly shut lip spreading out to his left side. never seen that before so i dont know whether it is a good or bad thing. "i will need to look at this so u can leave it here. come back later" and here i'm. Waiting, amidst unbearable tension. the recommended options are; confirm, terminate contract, renew contract, prolong confirmation. i only require one ticked; Confirm.
In a quest to keep myself from giving in to the nerves, i have wracked my brains for all things funny, or with the slightest ability to make me laugh, each laugh hysterically exaggarated. so i come up with this one from the recent Mu7 vs kabaka riots;
In one of the surburbs where the riots were rife, a certain TV station broadcast a certain incident at a homestead that though sad i can't help laughing about. From a certain shack, a door opens slowly to reveal a young boy's head nervously peepig through before cautiously stepping out. he had not seen the many armed soildiers when he peeped so the bulk of them scattered all over the compound kind of got him by surprise.
scared shitless, one of the little boy's arms instinctively went to cover his behind and the other, he raised up in the air as if in surrender as he immediately begins to plead,
"bambi. njagala kupama. bi anuma bambi, ngenda kupama....."on and on (please, i want to puu, i'm badly off, pse, i'm going to pu....)
it was an act that softened even the policemen's hearts as one of them gently told the boy to go ahead, as long as he didnt run he would be ok.
it was the way he kept the arm to his behind as if to control the urge, or illustrate how badly off he was, orb the surprise and fear of landing right amidst the soildiers...i dont know. but that clip saw me and the girls rolling over in torrents of laughter the whole weekend. and its the only memory keeping me from soiling my own pants in anxiety.