Saving virginity Losing face

The first time I received a love letter
It was from a senior one student
I was in primary five

The house girl found me on the verandah crying
“I would like to have sex with you”
The last line in the letter had read

Sex was wrong but even scarier
How dare he even suggest it

House girl laughed at me and I was puzzled
But he said he wanted to….
I argued
So? she countered
It’s up to you to say yes or no

Two years down the road
I was wiser
I’m not ready
I would always say to my S.3 dude
Whenever he asked for some

So dude
Who had been patient with me for about a year
Lost his patience and called me in one day

Again, Seriously this time
he asked for some
I’m not ready, again I said

When you say you are not ready
What exactly do you mean? Is there some thing you need to do, buy?
Some kind of ritual you need to do to prepare yourself
I can sit here or step out while you get yourself ready

I may not have been old enough at 12 to defend my stand
But I had enough brains to know that I had come to the end of this rope
And had to move on
Fast

I took off
from right before his eyes
As if the devil was right at my heels
and didnt stop until I was safely locked in my room at home with my V. intact and safe

Never saw dude again
I made sure of it
I also never stopped imagining him trashing me to his friends either.