Mumblings. Reflections. Memories. Wonderings…

as a child…
I hated shoes and school bags.
i played kwepena (dodge ball) better barefooted, although it meant I had to dodge the heaps of pooh littered in the urinals we shared with the boys at school with my bare feet as well. that was a small price to pay tho, so my shoes were always left hidden in a trench outside the fence and my mum loved me more; i was the only one of her children whose shoes still looked new after a whole term.
The school bags ate into my play time; either washing them after school or trying to find a clean spot to place them before setting off so I didn’t have to wash them after school. Besides, with a polythene bag you got so much more; say a different design and color each day.
if i met God, i would ask...
¨ Why do YOU chose to complicate life so with this love thing? Wouldn’t the world be more harmonious if all relationships were platonic? No heart breaks, no rejections, no wedding costs….you know, do it like the chicken, you want to reproduce, you give it to whichever female is available and move on. Yah, so being in love feels good, and Mrs. B2B would probably miss the kiss in the park (public place), but we wouldn’t miss those things if we didn’t know them…
¨ How do YOU sit up there and just watch your beloveds die from hunger famine kony earthquakes floods…when all it would take YOU to clear the whole mess up is less than a wave of the hand?
¨ Wouldn't it be less work for YOU, (OK, us too) if YOU just granted us our hearts' desires without making us plead first?
¨ Why did YOU create Judas just so he could betray Jesus and rot in hell for it? After all, it was hardly his fault that He betrayed Jesus.
Losing the game...
I was disappointing my mum way too much; always being caught with my head peeping out of the tallest trees, or my lanky frame the only feminine among the males running atop buildings playing guns and robbers; being suspended from school for pulling at some boys’ balls (or girl's lips. WITH HANDS) say for trying to bully me out of my position at assembly…
Mum always knew how to have me shading tears and feeling worthless about myself by letting me know how she expected better from her first born daughter…then I discovered there was a question she didn’t have an answer to that always made her get off my case; “I never asked you to produce me, did I?”
It worked for while, but then one time, without hesitating (as if she had been waiting for the next time i used that line on her) she screamed right back in answer, “and I never said you be the one that comes out when I decided to push, so don’t give me that.”
what would you say to that? i have never had a response to it myself, so i surrendered my game; stopped all the nonsense and grew into a responsible, non-violent woman.
in a matatu, everything has a humorous twist to it...
Do u disagree?
Who could have suspected there actually is a humorous answer to a simple morning greeting, huh?
Once in a taxi, I was marveling at how dark the driver was and just when i had concluded he must be the darkest man ever created, he stuck his head out to greet a fellow taxi driver on the way. The response sent me spiralling backwards in hysterical laughter; “twala eli. Weyelusa no kweyelusa,” shouted the colleague, accusing our driver, the darkest man i have ever seen, of bleaching!
Evidently, the bleach wasn't working!
to be young and foolish...
The following conversation ensues between my 4 year old cousin, right after she watches a documentary on children in war-torn countries in Africa, and her dad, who was always in praise of his daughter’s intellect since she was about 2 hours old;
Cousin: “Daddy, I never want to go to Africa. Please promise me you will never want to make me.”
The dad puzzled; “Why?”
Cousin: “Because in Africa the children don’t have food and they are sick and have mucus running down their noses all the time!”
See, this conversation was taking place from their home in Mengo, a suburb in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda in East Africa. that home today has more maps of Africa and the world, than i have ever seen in any other home.