Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Mumblings. Reflections. Memories. Wonderings…


as a child…
I hated shoes and school bags.
i played kwepena (dodge ball) better barefooted, although it meant I had to dodge the heaps of pooh littered in the urinals we shared with the boys at school with my bare feet as well. that was a small price to pay tho, so my shoes were always left hidden in a trench outside the fence and my mum loved me more; i was the only one of her children whose shoes still looked new after a whole term.
The school bags ate into my play time; either washing them after school or trying to find a clean spot to place them before setting off so I didn’t have to wash them after school. Besides, with a polythene bag you got so much more; say a different design and color each day.
if i met God, i would ask...
¨ Why do YOU chose to complicate life so with this love thing? Wouldn’t the world be more harmonious if all relationships were platonic? No heart breaks, no rejections, no wedding costs….you know, do it like the chicken, you want to reproduce, you give it to whichever female is available and move on. Yah, so being in love feels good, and Mrs. B2B would probably miss the kiss in the park (public place), but we wouldn’t miss those things if we didn’t know them…
¨ How do YOU sit up there and just watch your beloveds die from hunger famine kony earthquakes floods…when all it would take YOU to clear the whole mess up is less than a wave of the hand?
¨ Wouldn't it be less work for YOU, (OK, us too) if YOU just granted us our hearts' desires without making us plead first?
¨ Why did YOU create Judas just so he could betray Jesus and rot in hell for it? After all, it was hardly his fault that He betrayed Jesus.
Losing the game...
I was disappointing my mum way too much; always being caught with my head peeping out of the tallest trees, or my lanky frame the only feminine among the males running atop buildings playing guns and robbers; being suspended from school for pulling at some boys’ balls (or girl's lips. WITH HANDS) say for trying to bully me out of my position at assembly…
Mum always knew how to have me shading tears and feeling worthless about myself by letting me know how she expected better from her first born daughter…then I discovered there was a question she didn’t have an answer to that always made her get off my case; “I never asked you to produce me, did I?”
It worked for while, but then one time, without hesitating (as if she had been waiting for the next time i used that line on her) she screamed right back in answer, “and I never said you be the one that comes out when I decided to push, so don’t give me that.”
what would you say to that? i have never had a response to it myself, so i surrendered my game; stopped all the nonsense and grew into a responsible, non-violent woman.
in a matatu, everything has a humorous twist to it...
Do u disagree?
Who could have suspected there actually is a humorous answer to a simple morning greeting, huh?
Once in a taxi, I was marveling at how dark the driver was and just when i had concluded he must be the darkest man ever created, he stuck his head out to greet a fellow taxi driver on the way. The response sent me spiralling backwards in hysterical laughter; “twala eli. Weyelusa no kweyelusa,” shouted the colleague, accusing our driver, the darkest man i have ever seen, of bleaching!
Evidently, the bleach wasn't working!
to be young and foolish...

The following conversation ensues between my 4 year old cousin, right after she watches a documentary on children in war-torn countries in Africa, and her dad, who was always in praise of his daughter’s intellect since she was about 2 hours old;
Cousin: “Daddy, I never want to go to Africa. Please promise me you will never want to make me.”
The dad puzzled; “Why?”
Cousin: “Because in Africa the children don’t have food and they are sick and have mucus running down their noses all the time!”
See, this conversation was taking place from their home in Mengo, a suburb in Kampala, the capital city of Uganda in East Africa. that home today has more maps of Africa and the world, than i have ever seen in any other home.

15 comments:

the antipop said...

what do you mean non-violent? Only last month you were pulling out my hair and scratching me with those talony things. You shall not lie on this forum.

jny23ug said...

yu want to see the blackest man in Uganda? come to my house.

The Emrys said...

somehow am not sure if judas is in hell, but then again.....

Be silent said...

hey hey just passing by the post is long so i saved it on my hard drive or whatever they are called will read it at home.

Rented said...

Co-signing with Rented here.

Princess said...

This has been entertaining. Yes, entertaining.

*I rather think your cousin is brilliant though. There was a profound truth in her statement.
"I never want to go to Africa." The Africa the foreign media portrays. No one wants to be caught in that Africa.

But the Africa, we have grown used to, the one that has the laughter, the joy as well as the odd lack and want and pain. The Africa we fondly call home. Ah, there is no place like it! :)

Chanel said...

Hahahaha. Conductors friend should sign up for stand up Kampala

lulu said...

hahaha for kids then that taxi driver, hmmm i couldnt be seen carrying a cavera to school! lol!

nevender said...

There are questions I decided God would never answer in this lifetime, so I only ask the ones He shall answer.

Now, the black dude.....priceless.

I never want to go to Africa? Your cousin needs to go to Sunday School.

Naye nga yuwa so funny?

SilverBow said...

gwe A.P;u have got to start to be able to separate illusion from reality. even then, i'm not the 'rough' chain whip type anyway.sorry.
and jny:ure going 2have to do beta than that to get me to your hse.

wama the rest of u what's up? thanks for passing by.and reading this looooooooong post. i shall not do it to you again.i swear. and i love u all.seriously, i do.i swear.sibalimba.all of u....(ah, S.B.stop damn it)

Spartakuss said...

i think you are what teh bible calls a breath of fresh air in the musty, skeptic, cynic blogosphere. welcome. karibu

SilverBow said...

thanks spartakuss, never been gladder to be somewhere.i'm in the process of checking u out right now...there shall be a comment.

Spartakuss said...

are you sure am the guy you woke up next to?
no offense coz i normally don't wake up next to my victims; the rationale is that if anyone is dumb enough to fall for my drunken act {8coz i actually don't dink] they obviously need to be spared the trauma of waking up next to me.{dont laugh!! my acting is that bad!!}
its only fair that they get screwed once.
so you know me from where? i cant seem to make out your features from you silver bow pic.

SilverBow said...

just know it had rained that night, it was awfully cold and the drinks i'd taken to warm me up had instead knocked me out silly. and i knew i would never forget those eyes...they are wat gave u away...

anyway u went to Namilyango, you have had a home in an education institute, you work at the university...
want me to say more? your size maybe...

eddlove said...

Nice quiet Nice